breathing a tentative sigh of relief…

25 10 2009

 I have two thoughts after this past work week.

 Either my panicking brought my work performance to a higher level (I laugh at that, but hey, I’ve heard that stress can do that to a person.) or I’m really pretty darned good at this and all my stressing out was for naught.

 And why do I mention this now?

 I’m still employed, but I noticed that the three others who were hired on at the same time as me were all not at work Friday. All three.

 Woooooooow.

 I’m the lone survivor! ;)

 So, I can take heart in the fact that I really am pretty good at this. I would say that my past editing experience and escrow experience actually help me do a good job because you have to know the terms being used in the foreclosure documents and also have an eye for words and letters that are out of place. I feel like I’m learning and actually contributing something valuable.

 One thing that I am learning from this is that God uses everything for good. Everything is a learning experience sent from God. Everything. What you choose to do with it is your choice. I can now see that my past work experiences are coming together here. Nothing was for naught, and I take heart in that.

 I really do.

 And so….Here’s to actually staying here a decent amount of time.





beyond the panic attacks…

19 10 2009

    Beyond the panic attacks regarding work, I really do have a lot to be thankful for….

                       xmastree

 Like selling my gift tags this past weekend at a craft show. I didn’t make that much of a profit, but it showed me that people really, really, really like my stuff.

                             skinnierme

 Getting to 80 pounds lost! It’s happening. Now I guess I should start taking farther away shots of me so that people actually believe me. :)

 And of course my birthday is coming up.

 Life is good. Not worrying about employment would be nice, but hey, the world can’t be perfect, can it?

:(





Improve already, damn it!!

17 10 2009

 I am going to be a walking stroke as long as I work where I’m at. Tonight was an example of that.

 We had a Bosses Day celebration and we were all sitting around chit-chatting. I was at the table with the supervisor, and so I asked if they anticipated the work load increasing since there are some more adjustable rate mortgages that are supposed to turn soon. She said no and the conversation turned to bad loans. Then she said something that I really wish she hadn’t, “Well this month was supposed to be our best month ever (hence the reason why the four of us were brought on), and we’re just barely keeping you all busy.”

 Imagine me imagining a target on my head…..

 I just really find that hard to believe because those who qualify (who meet certain levels of production) will be working overtime tomorrow and Sunday.

 Aaargh!!!!

 What do you all think?





positive reinforcement….what feels better since losing weight

10 10 2009

 I’ve decided to post once a week now what positive changes I’ve seen since losing weight. I will start tonight with the following:

  • sinus pressure is virtually gone; I’m thinking that the food I was eating was causing this. This was a frequent issue with me and I can say that I don’t have it anymore.
  • Getting up out of a chair isn’t causing me to groan because my knees will soon die.
  • I can button up those coat thingies at the hairdresser’s. It was a tight fit today, but I can do it now!
  • Walking up a flight of stairs doesn’t cause me to puff and pant anymore. One of my knees also doesn’t kill me when I walk up stairs anymore.
  • I can sit in strange positions again on the sofa :)
  • A certain female issue has gotten better. I won’t go into detail….
  • I’m starting to have a spring in my step when I go down stairs again.

 I’m going to continue this weekly. Tune in again next Saturday. :)





breaking old habits (and other weight loss thoughts)….

10 10 2009

prettyme  skinnierme

 I need to learn how to size my photos better on here, but you get the idea. The left one is last year around this time. The one to the right is now-today. Many pounds lighter. Lots of thoughts today about that.

 What a difference a year makes. A new job. Weight loss. Moving on…. Some things shock me though. I’ve had two people not recognize me. One of them was a woman who I used to work with who I ran into a few days ago. When I said hi to her (and used her name too, mind you…) she said nicely, “and you are?” (I worked with her for over a year…) I said nothing about who I was but said that I worked with her and gradually, she began to realize who I was and finally said, “WOW, YOU’VE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT!”

 My now former co-worker is not the only one who has said this. I have had a few more people tell me the same thing-including a former neighbor of mine.

 This is good-very good, but also weird for me at the same time. This was a part of me. An unhealthy part of me, but still, a part of me. It’s weird to say goodbye to it, but goodbye I must say if I want to do more in my life. And yes, I want to do a lot more.

 This also got me thinking about unhealthy habits I’ve developed through the years and how it brought me to a breaking point six months ago-where I knew I had to start in losing weight. I also got to thinking today about how nice it was to get my hair cut today and be able to button up one of the robes that they make you wear. Granted, it was a snug fit, but still, I could button it up. Yippeeee! :) Back over a year ago that would have not been able to happen. Just stick the damn cape over me, thank you very much would be what I would have thought.

 Is this a cry for therapy or what? LOL…..

 Wow! What a difference a year makes!

 And the sad thing is that if I don’t break some unhealthy habits that I have, I could be back to not being able to button it up again…

 This will be a long road for me, I know. I’ve made good progress because I choose to, but I know that I will have setbacks and challenges along the way.

 I am different now. I can choose to be different, and that’s what is so weird. I am not stuck anymore at a high weight. I chose to take action, and it has immensely helped me.